On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
