i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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