I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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