He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
