you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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