at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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