I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
