My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
