I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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