Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
"it" just moved
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
