More tranny stories later!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
