Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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