found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
