You're so nebulous sometimes
I think my vagina is haunted
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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