Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
