Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
