I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
