I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
