is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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