the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
