guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You smell like stripper and shame
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
