Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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