I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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