I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Boobs are out for the taking
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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