lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
