what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just want nice things and good sex
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
