I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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