I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
