Don't you send me to vm
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
