He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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