we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
