The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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