I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I need a beard to bite.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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