sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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