If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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