Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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