just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
