Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
