MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
