I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
