She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
