You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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