Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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