he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
