But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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