so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
