32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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