You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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