we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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