He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
