I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
you're hired as official boob wrangler
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
