I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
