Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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