I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
