Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
