He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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