you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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